A note on childbirth....

So it seems my post about the pains of childbirth has unsettled a few people. Fortunately, there are other mothers out there who have read it and said "Thanks, finally an open and honest account". Here's what I have to say - I didn't write it to freak anyone out (especially expectant Mums and I apologise to any of you who I've upset or scared), I didn't write it to get up on my birthing high horse and say listen to me! I know all! I merely wrote my account of my childbirth. 

Everyone's birthing experience is different. Mine was hard and painful but that doesn't mean yours will be. I know many mothers who've had a less-than-stressful experience and I know many mothers that have had a hell of a time. My cousin, after reading the post yesterday, told me about her sister-in-law who had a very traumatic birthing experience after which she felt really angry for a few days that the women in her life didn't tell her how awful it can be. And to be honest, that's how I felt. In fact, before I went into labour I was even excited for it because from what I'd been told, it wasn't actually that bad and I thought, I'll be fine! I wasn't prepared at all. 

So, I don't mean to upset any women out there and I certainly don't mean to scare anyone. As I said in my first post, the most important thing you can do as a new mother is share your feelings and that's what I've done. I appreciate the feedback I've had on this post and I'm glad you guys were open and honest enough to tell me that actually, it made you feel nervous and scared. But just remember, this is just one experience out of billions. Talk to other mothers and ask about their birthing experience. 

The main thing is - be prepared and keep an open mind. Yes it's sore, but when it comes down to it, it's just a tiny, tiny window in the enormous expanse that is your life and the end result far outweighs the labour. It's worth it. It's so, so worth it.

Beware the mothers who tell you childbirth isn't painful...

It is. It really, really is. Or perhaps it's more a case of me still floating in that post-birth, half world where I still remember vividly every second of my 52 hour (yes, that's right) labour. 

Most mothers I speak to who have children over 1 year get a faraway look in their eyes when asked if their labour/birth was painful, "No, not painful, just really intense". All mothers I speak to who have children under 6 months, well, their eyes fill with anguish before they bleat "Oh God, oh God! The pain! The pain!". As my sister so very delicately put it after the birth of her first son, "It's like squeezing a melon out your vagina and a basketball out your bum". How right she was. 

My rose tinted dream bubble of a quick, painless and all natural water birth was quickly burst when Little Red began his journey into this world on a Friday afternoon. He must have taken a few wrong turns on the way, stopped to see the sights and take in a show because he didn't arrive until Sunday night. Mother's Day. The one thing he got right was arriving on his due date, good boy.

I'll spare you the gory details. Actually, no, I won't. It goes a little something like this:

52 hours from start to finish. 5 hours of sleep. Contractions 6 minutes apart from the very start. 1cm dilation in a 24 hour period. God knows how many milligrams of Oxytocin to get the contractions progressing which brings us to.... 90 seconds of eyeball bulging, back breaking, body contorting contractions every 2 minutes. Tens of drug-haze inducing inhalations of gas. 3 puke buckets. 5 ice buckets. 2 seconds for me to consider and accept the epidural offered. 3 people to sit me up and hold me still while the tube was inserted. An hour of lucidity followed by an hour of learning how to use my completely numb lower body to push. 40 minutes of pushing whilst enduring the most intense feeling of pressure I've ever felt in my bum and screaming "I can't! Nothing's happening!". 2 seconds of oh my God there's a baby. 4 minutes of oh my God there's a baby who's not breathing on his own (but it's OK, he began to breathe eventually). Then.... a lifetime of hello little one, you're all mine.

I have to admit, the above is slightly sugar coated, slightly abridged so as to keep the small shred of dignity I have left intact (because once you get into that delivery suite, prepare to leave every inch of it at the door). I'm not saying it wasn't worth it because it so, so was - from all that pain and trauma came a perfect little bundle of love and maybe one day I'll be one of those mothers that gets that faraway look before saying "No, not painful, just really intense" (although I highly doubt it) but for now, bring on that C-section!