FYI: It's OCD

So I have this "thing". Well, quite a lot of "things", really. I'm a tad on the OCD side. OK, quite a bit on the OCD side. It drives Nick (the most laid back of all the laid backs) close to insane. We're a good mix (most of the time) and we balance each other out. Where I'm highly strung, he's calm. Where I'm prone to worry, he's a glass-is-half-full all the time kinda guy. I'm a run around at a million miles an hour and get ten thousand things done in the space of an ad break person and he's a why don't you just sit down, put your feet up and have a beer type of dude.

I think I'm slowly getting better at relaxing and not being so anal retentive. Slowly. However, it still bugs me when the coffee table or the foosball table don't sit flush with the sofa (former) or the wall (latter). I can't handle the volume on the TV or the radio to be at an uneven number unless it's in multiples of five or ends in a three. And any even number that ends in four needs to be upped one so that it ends in five.

What else? I loathe going to bed without a shower. I just imagine yucky little daytime germs crawling all over me and through the bed. I can't handle dust. I don't like things being left on the floor (Red's things, I'm slowly learning to accept - not that I have a choice - but when Nick gets home and dumps all his crap on the floor, well, that's another story). The shower curtain needs to be pulled along to the right spot when not in use. There can't be gaps in the drapes when they're closed and when open, they have to be all the way open. Things must be in straight, neat piles. I don't like my bedside table to be cluttered. The spare bedroom door must be closed. Towels must be folded in a particular way. Things in the pantry must be correspondingly grouped neatly. God, I could go on.

I'm crazy. I know. But none of this particularly bothers me. What does bother me though is this: yes, I've learnt to chill out a bit since becoming a Mum BUT when it comes to having time out I feel like it's such a precious time that it needs to be perfect. Like right now. My Mum has taken Red away for the afternoon and there's things I want to do. I want to have a nap, I want to read my book, I want to start making some necklaces and also string the paper cranes I made for Redford's room. In order to make this all feel perfect however, there needs to be no clutter. The house must be tidy. At this very moment I can't rest while knowing that there's Duplo scattered all over the nursery (plus it needs a hoover), there's washing in the dryer to be folded and mine and Nick's room has an unmade bed and clothes on the floor. I can't see this (I'm in the lounge) but I know it's there and I keep thinking about it and I can't "relax" til it's done. 


QUESTION: How the heck can I get over this?! I want to be able to sit down and have time out as soon as I'm given the chance no matter what state the house is in. I have so little time to enjoy my own company and I can't even enjoy it!


What to do? What to do? If you've got an answer, please, let me know! I don't think I could ever be one to live in a constant state of disarray but I want to, at least, be able to sit down and have a cuppa while a basket of washing to be folded and Redford's toys remain untouched on the floor.

I'm pregnant, what's your excuse?

Yes, there is such a thing as the "sympathetic pregnancy". It even has a name - Couvade Syndrome and, in short, it's when your Baby Daddy or partner begins to mirror your symptoms (minus the fast growing bundle of joy in your belly).

If Couvade Syndrome was a factor in mine and Baby Daddy Nick's relationship, it only presented itself in the form of his expanding belly, which seemed to be growing as fast as mine. Although, that simply could have been due to my sickening cravings for cheeseburgers and ice cream and his unfathomable support in "eating what I eat" (and finishing off what I couldn't manage). It probably also had a little to do with him now drinking his beer and mine.

But isn't it interesting? The term Couvade Syndrome (stemming from the French verb couver, meaning to "brood") originated from ancient rituals carried out by fathers during the mother's labour and birth of their children such as avoiding certain foods, knives or other sharp objects and climbing into bed in a specially built hut to imitate the pains of childbirth. Fathers of an ancient tribe in Mexico even had to sit in the rafters above their wives during labour with a cord tied around their testicles - with every contraction the wife would pull on the cord. Let's all be thankful that some customs are left in the olden days where they belong.

These rituals were carried out to strengthen the bond between father and child, cope with the anxiety of watching the mother in labour and also allow the father to easier guide the child into the world by strengthening his connection with supernatural beings. These rituals no longer take place in the modern world, but the syndrome has carried through into our times with a new meaning.  

Rupert Taylor writes that Couvade Syndrome is actually quite common and 'symptoms' can range from swollen stomachs and food cravings (I'm positive these two are interrelated) to cramps, fatigue, mood swings and even morning sickness. 

The syndrome isn't medically proven, but there's no doubt that it does exist. Dr Arthur Brennan of St. George's University (who Taylor cites in his article) believes it may be linked to changes in hormones - perhaps an unconscious psychological longing to journey through pregnancy along with their Baby Mamas? - and says ".... these symptoms are involuntary. Often men haven't got a clue about what's happening to them."

And who said men weren't complex creatures? They suffer the ups and downs of the baby bump too. The sympathetic pregnancy.... what's next? Sympathy PMS? I hope not, there's only room for one pre-menstrual ogre to rear it's ugly head in our household.


Question for the masses: Did your Baby Daddy/partner suffer from Couvade Syndrome? Did their belly expand, their moods jump off the richter scale and their cravings turn from chips and beer to gherkins and ice cream? Let me know!

Twenty reasons to enjoy early motherhood

1.  You have a super cute baby that's all yours and only yours
2.  People will do anything you ask, so make the most of it
3.  You probably won't have to cook for the first month
4.  Eat all the chocolate you want because a) you deserve it and b) you're totally skinny now
5.  You can shoot milk out of your boobs
6.  You have every right to adopt that smug "oh-you-have-no-idea" look when childless people tell you they're tired
7.  You now have a little friend that you can talk to (at?) about anything and all they'll do is smile and nod - think of it as therapy without the price tag
8.  You can whinge all you want and be totally irrational and get away with it
9.  Professionals say you should ingest 1L of milk products a day to keep your calcium intake up, that includes milk/milkshakes, yogurt and ice cream so go on, reach for that tub of Cookies & Cream and go for gold
10. People on buses have to move for you and if they don't it's OK to shoot them a smacked-arse evil eye
11. You can park in the baby only parks and enjoy your 2 second walk to the mall while everyone else makes the 5 minute trek
12. You can now eat all the sashimi, blue cheese and salami you want
13. Two months later, you're still receiving gifts
14. You can stay in your pyjama's all day long and not feel like a slob
15. People will understand that your house is a complete tip and will probably even offer to clean it for you
16. For a good night out, all you need is two glasses of wine and you're set
17. You have an excuse to go shopping - you're stuck between maternity and pre-baby and after all, you must have clothes that are breastfeeding friendly
18. For the first week, you can pretend you have breast implants
19. You don't have to pretend to be Supermum, most people will think you already are
20. You have now endured the most pain you will ever experience so things can only get better