When I was pregnant I knew that I was going to breastfeed. I've
always found it an odd concept (milk? from there?) but wanted the
absolute best for my baby - I had visions of myself as this breastfeeding
goddess in pretty, floating tops that gave discreet boob access for my
bubs, sitting proudly in cafes around town.
When Ava was first born, the midwife laid her on my chest and she snuffled around for a while before being helped to latch on which jerked me out of my half-sleep with a loud "ouch!" Everyone looked at me in surprise and the doctor reassured me that it gets better.
It didn't.
On the second night Ava wouldn't stop screaming. She was starving. I fed her continuously for three hours (crying myself the entire time because of the pain) but she was beside herself. Finally a kindly nurse offered me some formula in a bottle. She drank 20mls in under a minute and slept all night long.
By day three I was still in hospital, had no milk coming in, no colostrum coming out, a big painful split down each nipple and blood blisters to top it all off. I couldn't wear a bra any more because the blisters would bleed and my already-sore nipples would stick to the bra. It was agony. By the time a lactation consultant could come and see me I couldn't latch Ava on at all.
On day four I went home and set up the electric breast pump and began expressing. I still had very little milk, I'd pump for twenty minutes and get 30 mls of milk so was supplement feeding with formula as well. It took three weeks for my breasts to heal up. By that point I was getting 70 mls of milk every three hours by expressing, but it still wasn't enough for Ava who lost 20% of her body weight in hospital. I began latching her back on again and SURPRISE! it wasn't too painful. Uncomfortable yes, but not like before.
I got two lovely weeks of really breastfeeding (plus some supplementary formula) and was happy to put the pump away and never look at it again. Then at six weeks old Ava suddenly started refusing the breast. We went to a lactation consultant again who said the latch was perfect (stoked) but to try pumping and make sure there wasn't a supply problem. So out came my old friend the breast pump, and I discovered my milk had dried up. I guess it's worth mentioning that my Mum's milk dried up when I was six weeks old - the same age as my daughter was.
I tried Weleda nursing tea and Fenugreek at the advice of the midwife and Plunket nurse but no success. I was really distressed at losing my milk - after all the effort to breastfeed I only got two weeks! I went to see my doctor, who offered me a script for Domperidone. Domperidone is an anti-nausea drug prescribed to cancer patients and one of its side effects is lactation. It worked a dream. My milk came back and I had more than ever before. Ava was happy and started really gaining weight, I felt like a proper mum finally and I didn't need the breast pump!
Aside from lactation, one of the other side effects of Domperidone is weight gain. After two months of taking it I found I had put on 11 kgs and was the same weight as when I was 30 weeks pregnant. Talk about devastated! I weighed up all the pros and cons and finally decided that I would stop taking the Domperidone and hope for the best. Ava was three and a half months old - I wanted to breastfeed until she was six months at least but I felt that gaining so much weight was putting my health at risk. It seemed so unfair after being pregnant, then losing the bump and fluid only to put it all back on again.
After stopping the Domperidone my milk lasted two more weeks then disappeared for good. Ava was breastfed until 4 months old, and I'm really proud of my efforts. I know I tried my absolute hardest and will attempt to breastfeed again with number two. She's now a happy bottle-drinking 7 month old.
I did get an official verdict about why I couldn't produce breastmilk - my body struggles to produce oxytocin, which is why I was in labour for 55 hours (ow!!) and then couldn't make much breastmilk. But at the end of the day, I think a healthy baby is the most important thing regardless of how they're fed and a little breastmilk at the start is still amazing for a baby's health.
When Ava was first born, the midwife laid her on my chest and she snuffled around for a while before being helped to latch on which jerked me out of my half-sleep with a loud "ouch!" Everyone looked at me in surprise and the doctor reassured me that it gets better.
It didn't.
On the second night Ava wouldn't stop screaming. She was starving. I fed her continuously for three hours (crying myself the entire time because of the pain) but she was beside herself. Finally a kindly nurse offered me some formula in a bottle. She drank 20mls in under a minute and slept all night long.
By day three I was still in hospital, had no milk coming in, no colostrum coming out, a big painful split down each nipple and blood blisters to top it all off. I couldn't wear a bra any more because the blisters would bleed and my already-sore nipples would stick to the bra. It was agony. By the time a lactation consultant could come and see me I couldn't latch Ava on at all.
On day four I went home and set up the electric breast pump and began expressing. I still had very little milk, I'd pump for twenty minutes and get 30 mls of milk so was supplement feeding with formula as well. It took three weeks for my breasts to heal up. By that point I was getting 70 mls of milk every three hours by expressing, but it still wasn't enough for Ava who lost 20% of her body weight in hospital. I began latching her back on again and SURPRISE! it wasn't too painful. Uncomfortable yes, but not like before.
I got two lovely weeks of really breastfeeding (plus some supplementary formula) and was happy to put the pump away and never look at it again. Then at six weeks old Ava suddenly started refusing the breast. We went to a lactation consultant again who said the latch was perfect (stoked) but to try pumping and make sure there wasn't a supply problem. So out came my old friend the breast pump, and I discovered my milk had dried up. I guess it's worth mentioning that my Mum's milk dried up when I was six weeks old - the same age as my daughter was.
I tried Weleda nursing tea and Fenugreek at the advice of the midwife and Plunket nurse but no success. I was really distressed at losing my milk - after all the effort to breastfeed I only got two weeks! I went to see my doctor, who offered me a script for Domperidone. Domperidone is an anti-nausea drug prescribed to cancer patients and one of its side effects is lactation. It worked a dream. My milk came back and I had more than ever before. Ava was happy and started really gaining weight, I felt like a proper mum finally and I didn't need the breast pump!
Aside from lactation, one of the other side effects of Domperidone is weight gain. After two months of taking it I found I had put on 11 kgs and was the same weight as when I was 30 weeks pregnant. Talk about devastated! I weighed up all the pros and cons and finally decided that I would stop taking the Domperidone and hope for the best. Ava was three and a half months old - I wanted to breastfeed until she was six months at least but I felt that gaining so much weight was putting my health at risk. It seemed so unfair after being pregnant, then losing the bump and fluid only to put it all back on again.
After stopping the Domperidone my milk lasted two more weeks then disappeared for good. Ava was breastfed until 4 months old, and I'm really proud of my efforts. I know I tried my absolute hardest and will attempt to breastfeed again with number two. She's now a happy bottle-drinking 7 month old.
I did get an official verdict about why I couldn't produce breastmilk - my body struggles to produce oxytocin, which is why I was in labour for 55 hours (ow!!) and then couldn't make much breastmilk. But at the end of the day, I think a healthy baby is the most important thing regardless of how they're fed and a little breastmilk at the start is still amazing for a baby's health.
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