25.11.10

Does the 6 month miracle really exist?

I'm not sure it does in our household. For those of you scratching your noggins wondering what the devil I'm on about, I'm talking about that "magical" moment when your wee one turns 6 months and all of a sudden things fall into place. He's sleeping through the night, feeding like clockwork, hoeing down on his solids and has two naps a day at exactly the same time for exactly 2 hours. Know what I'm getting at? Perhaps I've been reading the wrong baby books or perhaps I just expect too much but for the past few weeks, I feel as if I've been living with a newborn again.

Now our little guy is like any other 6 month old. He loves the simple things in life, like his jolly jumper....

and his spoon....

the sand between his toes....

and drinking out of cups that aren't his.

But just because he likes simple things doesn't mean he's a simple baby. Not in the slightest. He's never been a great day sleeper but for a while there he was easy and adaptable - he slept in his cot (in his own room, even!) for a good 7 hours a night, he chowed down on his solids and he was just, well, easy. But now, yeesh! This kid is giving me a run for my money. Or should I say a flat out sprint and here I am panting away, barely keeping up a jog. 

Now I'm not saying my Little Red is the devil's spawn - he's pretty freaking awesome most of the time - but give a Mum a break. For the past four weeks I'm pretty sure I've averaged 5 hours of sleep a night (and that's not consecutive) except for two nights last week when he tricked me into thinking he was back to his superb slumbering ways and I got five in a row - magic! So the night sleeping has shot out the door and following hot in it's footsteps is the daytime sleeping. I'm getting three twenty-thirty minute naps out of him a day. A day. There's a couple of Mums in my coffee group that have bubs that sleep four-ish hours during the day and then eleven straight hours at night! Oh how do I envy thee? Let me count the ways....

I've heard about the whole sleep promotes sleep idea and I definitely agree with it (a fellow Mum sent me a sleep quiz which I plan to thoroughly devour) - those two nights he slept straight through, he'd hunkered down with me and had a big two hour nap in the afternoon. And I know an early bedtime helps the cause too but really, these two things are a lot easier said than done. How do I get Little Red to nap longer than half an hour at a time? And how do I get him down to bed earlier to settle himself (he used to but now we have to rock him in our arms to sleep) without World War IV breaking out? I've tried almost every trick in the book, but obviously there's something I'm missing. Perhaps it's the non-solids eating (he was doing it and doing it good but now nothing, nadda, none.) The solids make a full belly which makes a sleepy baby which makes more sleep which means I get a happy, well rested baby instead of a needy, cranky baby, right? I just don't know.

So I'm sitting here wondering where the 6 month miracle is that I've heard so much about. Maybe I got my hopes up, maybe my expectations are too high, or maybe it's a false miracle. A mirage, a myth, a daydream that we Mums grasp onto when things are a bit crap. I know things will get better eventually, that this is probably just a phase, and I know I'm definitely not alone (I know other mamas going through exactly the same thing right now) and heavens that makes me feel better. But at 3am in the morning when it's dark and cold and I'm half asleep and the world feels like it's going to cave in, I wish on the nearest star for a little more sleepy feedy baby and a little less wakey cranky baby.

7 comments:

  1. Yep sweetie - its all a myth! you've been reading the wrong books! Seriously though..in my antenatal group, and in all my various networks of baby-mama friends, there has been maybe 2 babies I can think of (out of probably 30 or so) who have been textbook. The reason they write these books is so you flick through them in the shop, see the words "sleep through the night at 6 weeks/3mths/whatever" and think "sweet - I want that - I'm buying this book!". Its all a massive scam!

    I remember from about 4-7mths I would go to bed at around 8pm to get the amount of sleep I needed. I'd usually get a 3hr block then, and then it was downhill from there. We coped well, thanks to co-sleeping, so I never actually had to get out of bed, just sleepily fed the bubba, but I realize its not for everyone.

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  2. I hear you.....the 6 month mark was not a magic moment in our house at all. we had a bay who screamed for 7 hours straight most days / nights as a new born. then at 4 months slept well - as well as a 4 month should for 2 weeks, then back to the hourly waking then half hourly waking and so on. We tried anything and everything people suggested - gave it a good week to see if it would work and NOTHING did. we were going crazy. How one person can live off 3 hours broken sleep at night is not possible (specially with a toddler to deal with in the morning) But I can now say since mr 11months has found his bunny - it has always been in his cot, but he all of a sudden became attached to it. he sleeps like a baby at night. yes he still gets up 3x a night for a reassurance pat on the back and to resettle and 10mins max he is back to sleep, but he does wake about 5-5.30 most mornings. we have our bad nights but we figured out it is mainly from teething. after having just one sleep a day for as long as I can remember he is now wanting to catch up and will have 2 2 hour naps a day if possible. it is just crazy the difference in him since he stared moving, eating better and the teeth have been coming through oh and mostly found a comfort to cuddle up to when he is tired. the bunny has been life saving for us.
    so keep up the great work. it will happen and don't feel like you are doing something wrong. I have noticed some babies just don't sleep. my first slept like a baby. no problems and still will sleep in till 7.30 8 if she can and have a 2 hour nap in the avo so second time around was a huge shock. go with the flow and don't fight with him to sleep. we found lots of quiet time cuddles to calm him down helped heaps.And finally after 10months we are getting some where as we have had a good month of good sleeps (apart from last night - but that is a different story).
    good luck. (sorry for the novel)

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  3. Thanks ladies! It's so nice to know we're not alone in all this. I guess you always have this idea in your head of what your baby will "be like" - it's your baby so of course they'll be perfect! And when they're not, it comes as quite a shock.

    It's all about going with it and taking it a day at a time as opposed to "oh this is what everyone says my baby SHOULD be doing so why the hell isn't he doing it?!"

    Thanks for your support and encouraging words - they're much appreciated and make me feel like I'm doing a decent job x

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  4. PS. @Jenn - we have co-slept a lot of the time and I'm considering going back to that during these hard nights. Sometimes I get scared though that he'll learn to depend on it and will hold onto it in his chubby little fists but then again, I'd rather get a decent night's sleep!

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  5. You ARE doing a good job, and those don't let those stinky books convince you otherwise! I had to throw out a few books cos all they did was make me feel useless.

    Yeah I was afraid in the early months that Daisy would come to "depend" on co-sleeping. But I figure there are worse things than depending on your parents for comfort. Its what we're there for after all! For the record, she is now 18mths, and sleeps well, in a cot which is attached to the side of our bed. Yep she "depends" on us still, to be nearby, but we all get heaps of sleep so thats all I care about!

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  6. Nope, the 6 month mark didn't do anything for my boy either. His whole life he has never slept more than 40 minutes during the day and from about 6 months, has been doing 2 30-40 minute naps...no break for me!!
    Now he's 9 months, he's just started doing a longer afternoon nap, although morning naps are still 30 mins.
    So what I'm trying to say is you're not alone.

    And my boy has never been a good night sleeper and I wish I had tried co-sleeping and a dummy! I went through months of about 5 hours sleep like you...not consecutive - total of 5 hours broken into bits.

    I tried letting him cry, rocking him, patting him, sleeping with him...and eventually jusy went back to feeding him. Sigh.

    It's really tough but it does pass. This is my second baby and my first one was just as hard, but now he's 2 and the sleep issues are a thing of the past.

    Hope things are going much better for you

    All the best, Penny

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  7. *BIG HAPPY SIGH*, I am so pleased to be reading all these comments! My baby turned 7 months today, and like you I found the 'six month magical mark' a total farce! Admittedly she does sleep through the night 90% of the time and has done since she was six weeks old BUT only because she doesn't sleep during the day and is so exhausted! I normally get 2-3 20-30 minute naps a day (today she gave me 2x 45 minute napes and 1x one whole hour - a little oasis)... I keep getting told it will get better, so I am holding out for that elusive day!!!!

    Thank you (all) for your encouragement, it is nice to know we're not alone as well!

    PS - She is also struggling along with her solids, but that is one area I have decided not to stress about... I offer them to her 3x a day, and let her decide just how much she eats; she is still getting plenty from me.

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Leave me some sugar!